Screaming at the top of my lungs

            I feel like I am screaming at the top of my lungs and no one can hear me.  I keep thinking that its all going to come back to me... I can do this... I have done more and had to be in more places than this at once... I have Ben at home with me so why is this harder than any of the times before? I feel that I have lost my strength to live. I mean really live!!! I am so tired that I don't want to do anything, talk to anyone, or think about thing either. I am an all or nothing type of person so if there are things that I cant give my all I dont want to do them and right now that is everything in my life!

      

                  This sweet little girl is my pride and joy along with my boys but she is taking up so much time,emotion,and energy that I still dont have any of that left for the boys.... Which leaves me just as frustrated now as I did when  was pregnant.

      

           School I have made a plan to do my work on these days but heck the days have blurred into what this is  Saturday night at super later already and I am so frazzled that I cant work I'm blogging instead of homework.

                 Oh and because I think that Im super woman and can leap buildings and this too shall pass I applied for my old job back and started yesterday. Its only a few hours so far and I am so overwhelmed by everything else that I am not on my game. I was so tired last night that I pretty much passed out and didn't wake up until 1230 when El was hungry. I forgot the papers that I printed off, went to the wrong store, couldn't remember what store that the man had even said to go to 30 seconds after I got off the phone with him whomever that person is it is NOT me. I don't forget, I dont misunderstand work related things anyway, I get it done fast and magnificently lol.  Whomever this person in my head is needs to vacate. Well I m really beginning to think that she already has vacated and that is the other problem. 

    

  AGHHHHHHH DEAR LAAWD THERE SHE IS AGAIN!!!
Well my 4 minutes to myself are over for right now and she is screaming so I have got to go.....